I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
