Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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