I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
