I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
