yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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