So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
