i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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