Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
