How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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