He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
