I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
