I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
