Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
