I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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