that's an acceptable place to lick
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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