So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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