I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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