10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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