Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
