If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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