I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
