she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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