the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize