Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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