I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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