first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You may now shotgun with the bride
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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