i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
