So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
