he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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