OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize