is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
