Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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