she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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