I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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