Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
