I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
