The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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