i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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