..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
