Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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