let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
