we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish you could order shots online.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize