I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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