Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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