So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think people are normalizing furries
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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