Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
