I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
