fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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