Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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