i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
