so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
