im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
