I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
