ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
