he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
