____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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