He is an equal opportunity slut.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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