Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
