That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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