talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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