Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
